Static: Wednesday, January 2, 2003
A D V E R T I S E M E N T
A D V E R T I S E M E N T
Auld Lang Clyde

People make New Year’s resolutions because, unless you’re a football fan, what else is there to do in early January, when it’s gray, wet, and cold (make that gray, wet and weirdly warm earlier this week), you can’t stand to look at food anymore, and it’s too early to start sport drinking? A fantasy-land of future self-improvement beats reality every time.

Or you can get on the computer and take a short cruise past the most entertaining government web site we’ve seen: landslideclyde.com, cyberspace home of Fort Worth City Council member “Landslide” Clyde Picht, who was given the nickname in jest after barely squeaking out a victory in an election. If the rest of government were this much fun, more people would vote. There are pictures of his dog, Clyde’s latest unvarnished pontifications, and a red-cloaked wizard asking for bond election suggestions. There’s a District 6 hotline “for those moments of clarity or maybe just ire” and pitches for Picht wares (caps, cups, koozies). Landslide Clyde offers links to neighborhood associations in his district, an events calendar, and brief profiles on local folks. Sprinkled among the site are his political opinions (“Clyde’s 2 Cents”) and occasional un-PC type phrases such as “Democratic bimbos.”

You gotta like a politician whose own biography says that he “loves roses and C-121 Super Constellations — his aircraft of choice,” and notes that “Clyde still goes up to the cockpit of any airplane in which he is riding, just to make sure the folks doing the flying know their stuff.” He’s also not ashamed to admit that he “loves denim shirts and anything turquoise.”

Static’s favorite line, however, is the bit about musical selections. “Among the Councilman’s favorite composers are Wagner and Khatchaturian,” the bio says, “but to get ready for Council he spends his Tuesday mornings in his plush office with a Discman, listening to Beethoven’s funeral march.”

This stuff’s not new, of course — Picht has had the web site for years. But with things like North Korea and Iraq looming on the international front, an all-Bush, all-the-time government in Washington (and its clone in Austin), and a technicolor airstream wafting up from Ellis County, it was just nice to take a breather with pictures of Mose the Airedale. Onward.

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