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Prime of Life
Chow, Baby had a birthday last week. How many does that make? Let’s just say it’s one of the prime numbers. Which, by Chow, Baby’s logic, meant it should celebrate with prime rib. Also, since prime rib is pricey, that somebody else should treat. Chow, Baby’s editor kindly volunteered, with the conditions that we stay somewhat close to Fort Worth Weekly’s palatial downtown offices, because she had actual work to do, and that it be lunch rather than dinner, as she has an actual life outside said work. What bizarre concepts.
With the impatience of youth (yes, youth, dammit), Chow, Baby called every nearby steakhouse in search of daytime prime rib. Denied, denied, denied. Prime rib is a bone-in ribeye that’s slow-roasted for hours and hours and, if it’s a restaurant-size hunk of meat, a few more hours after that — so unless the chef’s coming in at the crack of dawn, you’re not going to get it for lunch. But at long last, the phone-answerer at H3 Ranch in the Stockyards read these delicious words from the menu: 12 oz. Pioneer Cut $24.95, 16 oz. Cattle Baron Cut $27.95. Hmm, which would Chow, Baby choose?
Neither, as it turned out; the hostess had been reading from the dinner menu. Chow, Baby had to settle for a fabulously tender and perfectly steakhouse-medium-rare (i.e., rare) ribeye (12 oz, $25.95), a few bites of the boss’ spit-roasted pork tacos ($5.25), lots of kitschy ranch eye candy, and a discussion of (a) consistent expense-account blowing and (b) habitual column-turning-in lateness. The ribeye made it all worthwhile.
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