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A D V E R T I S E M E N T
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A D V E R T I S E M E N T
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ARIES (March 21-April 19): After studying your omens for the upcoming weeks, I got really excited. I popped a chunk of organic, fair-trade, cruelty-free, espresso-tinctured chocolate and sat down to type an extravagant message. Maybe I was overly pumped up — I accidentally swallowed the candy whole. What a waste! But I recognized this apparent bad luck as a sign of what I needed to tell you: Don’t get so worked up about the oncoming pleasures that you eat them whole without even tasting their delights.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In his book In My Other Life, Paul Theroux imagines another version of himself — the “story of a life I could have lived had things been different.” I think you’d benefit from a similar exercise. Daydream about the inner potentials you’ve never developed, the initial interests that never grew into full-fledged relationships — then fantasize that you are in fact doing those things. This could lead you to actually try out some possibilities that maybe you should have considered long ago. And it might free up energy that has been trapped inside feelings of remorse.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Kate Knapp Johnson’s poem “Meadow” begins like this: “Half the day lost, staring/ at this window. I wanted to know/ just one true thing/ about the soul.” She goes on to imply that she wasn’t successful in her meditation. You, on the other hand, will enjoy a boom time if you go in quest of such insight. By next week, you could discover at least five true things about the soul. Here’s one possible truth: The soul needs nourishing stories in the same way the body needs healthy food.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): I feel that you’re here as I create these horoscopes. In a sense, you’re my assistant. The questions you project stream into my higher mind, coloring my psychic environment and enriching my desire to give you exactly what you need. Now I ask you to give our collaboration more conscious intention. Be aggressive about seeking help and inspiration — not just from me, but from everyone. Try this: Once a day for five minutes, visualize us sitting face-to-face and discussing the issues that feed your longing to be brave and free and authentic and smart and loving and creative.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free,” said Michelangelo about a statue he made. Let that approach be your guide in the coming weeks, Leo. Proceed according to the hypothesis that the beautiful thing you want to create is embedded in stuff that’s hiding its true nature, and your job is simply to liberate it from what’s extraneous.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “Dear Rob ‘Fat-Burner’ Brezsny: I used the Sweet and Sassy Toner video and tried the No More Love Handles program. I actually gained weight. But your horoscopes have brought me much closer to having my dream body. I’ve jettisoned a ton of psychic fat, a wad of guilt, a load of concern about what others think of me, and a mass of remorse about the past. This is the lightest I’ve ever been! Grateful Virgo.”
Dear Grateful: Give yourself credit, too. You’ve been courageous. By the way, this week will be the climax of the shedding process. Celebrate your success by emptying out even more.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Barack Obama may not be the messiah, but in comparison to the person he will replace, he’s the second coming of King Arthur. Still, it’s crucial to keep in mind that Obama can’t single-handedly and magically heal all the havoc inflicted on America and the world by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. That will have to be accomplished primarily by We-the-People, as much locally as in the federal realm. In the same way, fixing the problems vexing your personal sphere must be the task of the whole group, not just the leader. I suggest you work on convincing everyone to take more responsibility and be more accountable. It’s time to apply the principles of grass-roots democracy to your own life.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In ancient Egypt, wealthy people adorned their pet crocodiles with gold bracelets, amulets, and other jewelry. Let’s use that as a metaphor for you in the coming week. What is the most beastly and dangerous part of your psyche, and how might you beautify it? What steps could you take to civilize or ennoble your reptilian brain? Are there any ways you could make the crocodilian aspect of yourself look less scary and more inviting?
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): It’s like you’ve stumbled upon the Cosmic Lost and Found Office. Whether it happened “by mistake” is irrelevant: It’s an opportunity to recover good stuff that prematurely disappeared from your life. But your valuables may be mixed in with abandoned and forgotten junk, both yours and other people’s. You might initially feel discouraged having to wade through all that meaningless dross in order to locate your treasures. Don’t give up. Your diligence will ultimately be rewarded.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Are you willing to change yourself in ways that would allow you to get more of the love you long for? If you are willing to change yourself, are you capable of actually carrying out those changes, creating a permanent shift in your identity? If you answer yes, the coming weeks will be prime time to get to work. Now here’s my third question: In what precise ways would you have to change yourself in order to get more of the love you long for? Write down or print out your thoughts on a piece of red paper.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A cardinal had a confrontation with my picture window yesterday. For 45 minutes, it hammered its beak against the glass. I think the bird had mistaken its own reflection for a rival. I’m offering this scene as a cautionary metaphor for you. Keep three lessons in mind: 1. If you feel the urge to fight others, you’re probably mad about something in yourself. 2. Watch your tendency to get fixated on an image that is at best a distorted representation of a real thing. 3. Don’t hurt yourself or drive yourself crazy in an effort to chase away an illusion.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The uterus of a pregnant sand tiger shark is not exactly a peaceful sanctuary. Her eggs hatch in there well before she gives birth. Soon the multiple embryos begin a fight to the death until there’s just one pup remaining. I suspect there’s now a similar survival-of-the-fittest struggle going on within the metaphorical womb of your imagination. Several pretty good brainchildren are tussling for supremacy. Which one will defeat and eat the others and grow into maturity? I bet we’ll find out soon.
Homework: If you could be any other sign besides the one you actually are, what would it be, and why? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.
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