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A D V E R T I S E M E N T
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A D V E R T I S E M E N T
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Astrology
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Here are the three most important questions for you to carry around with you in the coming weeks, Aries. Keep them simmering in the back of your mind; expect life to bring you juicy clues to the answers. 1. What are you always afraid you’re going to run out of? 2. What if it’s true that being afraid the good stuff will run out is the factor most likely to make it run out? 3. How would your life change if you were able to conquer that fear?
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): It’s a perfect moment to have your leaks plugged, your stains cleaned, your spark plugs changed, your love songs rewritten, your white lies atoned for, and your vain hopes subjected to a dose of reality therapy. But don’t worry; the imminent future is not merely about repair and retooling. It will also be a favorable time to get your load lightened, your untold stories heard, your debt cancelled, your apologies accepted, your fantasy life refurbished, your wildness restored, your volume turned up, and your feet kissed.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I authorize you to take a giant leap of faith over the abyss this week, Gemini — as long as you also promise to wear a parachute. I urge you to make a wish under a waterfall and worship at the feet of a sexy idol — as long as you wear a flotation device and the idol agrees to worship at your feet, too. In conclusion, I dare you to risk extravagant adventures — as long as you maintain a crisp system of checks and balances.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Join me now in a moment of silence, my fellow Cancerian, as we commemorate our recently deceased nightmares. In their prime, they were sour and sickly, but breathtaking in their capacity to awaken us. Generous in ways we couldn’t understand till now, they exuded a scary beauty that exposed our ignorance and provoked our resourcefulness. Now, in death, those nightmares will serve us anew, as they decay into compost that will fertilize an eruption of tender brainstorms.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): There are few things more pleasing to my heart than to observe children running for joy in the great outdoors. They’re not competing in a race, or trying to save time or lose weight or stay in shape. The thrill of summoning all their energy to zip along as the wind flows by them is all the reward they seek. On the other hand, I don’t like to see kids dashing around with scissors in their hands — not even if they’re running for joy in the great outdoors. This week, Leo, I bid you to follow my first example, not the second.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): After taking one look at your astrological aspects, Virgo, I knew all I had to do to find your oracle was turn to the word “gist” in my thesaurus. “Core,” it read, “kernel, sap, meat, nub, pith, marrow.” Every one of those terms describes where you should be heading in coming weeks. Ah, but here’s the rub. If you feel more comfortable on the outskirts and peripheries, or if you prefer to make a name for yourself from dealing with subordinates and hangers-on, then you may freak out when given the chance to be at the heart of the action. I pray you will summon the chutzpah to dive in where you belong.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The World Wildlife Fund has been around since 1961, fighting to save endangered species. The World Wrestling Federation launched in 1962 and has made millions of dollars selling staged combats between steroid-inflamed loonies. So which of these WWFs won the recent skirmish between the two? The good guys! A court ruled that the wildlife protectors had a superior claim to the initials WWF. The wrestlers changed their name to World Wrestling Entertainment. I bring this up, Libra, as proof that sometimes goodness and beauty and truth do triumph. As you navigate an analogous showdown in your own sphere, fight for this possibility with all your might.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): There’s a lot of Scorpio envy out there, isn’t there? Think of all the people who try to make you feel guilty for being so vivid and alive, simply because they secretly want to be like you but know they could never handle the intensity. Take a break from all that negative reinforcement this week. Surround yourself with fascinating, strong-willed movers and shakers who thrive on your unnerving beauty rather than fearing it. This acceptance is not a luxury you can do without.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Life is totally unfair, and you will soon be living proof of that, Sagittarius — in reverse, that is! Wild cards and X-factors will fall at your feet, in your lap, and on your head. You’re likely to attract a kind of extravagant luck that will almost make no sense. You’ll have such incisive intuition and impeccable timing that it may seem as if there’s a cosmic conspiracy working behind the scenes to make you happy. The only potential downside is that envious people may accuse you of reaping more than your rightful share. Fortunately, your charm levels will be so high that you can probably disarm their resentment.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In recent weeks you’ve been good — maybe a little too good, actually — about obeying all the signs, remaining loyal to reliable sources even when they weren’t helpful, and averting your eyes from the places where you weren’t “supposed” to look. But in the coming days, Capricorn, I’d appreciate it if you’d do the opposite. Question every rule, even if you ultimately follow it. Don’t dump those reliable sources unceremoniously, but hold them to higher standards. As for the sights you’ve been avoiding: Explore them with piercing curiosity.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): This horoscope has a complicated theme, Aquarius, but I think you, of all people, can handle it. To help you understand the cosmic message, I’ll present it from five angles. 1. Have fun as you foment benevolent rebellion. 2. Do good as you tamper with the status quo. 3. Blend a humanitarian’s perspective with the helpfulness of a kind trickster. 4. Shake everyone up with the infectious cheer of your righteous teasing. 5. Be an unpredictable, joy-dispensing, fear-dispersing troublemaker.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I wish I could get one of those 11 newly discovered moons of Jupiter named after you. I wish I could rent you your own personal Buddhist monk to pray for you three hours a day and fix you sacred desserts ten times a week. I’d love for you to be able to know what it’s like to be fought over by two smart, attractive suitors. Since I’m not rich and powerful enough to lavish you with these gifts you deserve, Pisces, please bestow countless treats on yourself. The planetary omens demand that you be showered with blessings — but not necessarily from other people.
Homework: I dare you to dare yourself to overcome one of your fears — not through a dumb stunt but rather a smart risk — by July 15. Testify at www.freewillastrology.com.
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